Uncomfortable

I know I haven’t been heard from in awhile and to be honest I am struggling with my current circumstances.  I had three major events occur pretty much all in a small window of time.  I shut down my nail business because my hands were cracking and bleeding regularly and was probably due to the chemicals.  I completed our taxes to discover we have a fairly large bill due, ugh!  And my daughter who is disabled took incredible advantage of us during all of this.  I’m grieving the loss of my business and income, I really enjoyed doing nails.  The tax bill caught us completely off guard.  And my daughter to add to the mix not only invoked anger but disappointment.  And with all this “stress” I have gained almost all my weight back I had just lost.

During this I can see that Christ has never left my side.  Bits of encouragement along the way.  Recently we had Chinese food and my fortune cookie had this saying in it: “All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs.”  Thank you Jesus.  The tax bill has been paid in full.  Thank you Jesus, again.  My daughter and I will get this circumstance behind us soon.

It would be real easy to go to the daisy game of “He loves me, He loves me not.”  I know my feelings want to dictate otherwise but I am fully loved no matter where I am in life or circumstances.  There is nothing I can do to make Jesus love me more; there is nothing I can do make Jesus love me less.  That is where I can trust him to grow me in this season of uncomfortable circumstances.  I am beginning to wonder what he is working out in me and what the picture will look like after the work is done.  Therein lies my hope….powerful incentive to move on.